Luminous Matter

Manifesto Draft. An Ode to Claes Oldenburg.

Brianna — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:57:04 +0000

I’m for an art that comes from perserverance and hard work.

I’m for an art made by the people who mean it, not the ones who spend Daddy’s money.

I’m for blue collar art.

I’m for changing the way the average man views art.

I’m for a life that never settles.

I’m for going above and beyond.

I’m for understanding that all we really have is ourselves.

I’m for the verb To Be.

I’m for realizing that we each seek out stability in repetition, even if subconsciously.

I’m for primitive and nomadic art.

I’m for an art that seeks to understand hermetic human nature.

I’m for an art that communicates and mis-communicates, as long as it communicates at all.

I’m for experience.

I’m for connection amongst human beings.

I’m for an art that helps you realize that you are not as alone as you feel.

I’m for understanding that being alone is important.

I’m for understanding that a camera cannot mend a family.

I’m for art about family.

I’m for finding the meaning of family, and that in finding it, realizing that it may not always be ideal.

I’m for an art that questions reality.

I’m for an art that uses social networking to better understand human communication, but renounces living life stuck there.

I’m for prying yourself away from the internet and connectivity.

I’m for universality.

I’m for pride.

I’m for an art that seeks to be educated, every minute of every day.

I’m for an art that is unafraid.

I’m for having all the love in the world, even if that means not knowing what to do with it.

I’m for intuitive art, expensive art, free art, performance art, art on my skin, art in front of my eyes, art in my ears, art that alters the mind.

I’m for Untitled #44.

I’m for Relate and Relation.

I’m for fighting for what you believe in, even if no one else does.

I’m for honesty.

I’m for sitting and crying about your art for hours until you figure out what you’re trying to say.

I’m for learning the history of art before you call yourself an artist.

I’m for an art that captivates your being.

I’m for an art that consumes you.

I’m for an art that takes risks.

I’m for a life that takes risks.

I’m for thinking.

I’m for understanding that you will fail many many times, before you break even.

I’m for an art that understands that being ‘for an art’ is enough.

I’m for an art.

Welcome to the Upper East Side

Brianna — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 05:32:26 +0000

Now that I work in a place where I am going to be serving several very wealthy people I have realized that for the most part I have no respect for these bourgie people. Tonight I listened to a couple explain to another couple that the wife had everything she ever wanted growing up- that was their reasoning for her not having interest in dessert. Instead of simply agreeing, the wife proceeded to explain, yes she did have literally everything she ever wanted at her finger tips, and instead of implying that she was grateful she instead went on to explain that this was the reason for her deciding now at a later age that she only wants what she wants. It wasn’t in a nice way either, it was completely a way that openly admitted that she was a raging bitch that put her self higher than anyone else around her. I was not a fan of this woman. This table was a nightmare as a whole to the entire staff. Instead of brushing this off I just have to except that this is going to happen very often in a place like this.

It is this type of encounter that makes me completely appreciate my upbringing- as unconventional as it was. I would much rather be a kid from low income housing on the north shore than some silver spoon spoiled brat. I sleep better at night.

Joy

Brianna — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 06:01:23 +0000

Wow. I have not written in a bit. It’s odd, I guess its easier when there is frustration or stress motivating me to release my feelings. I read a tweet from AIB that the darkrooms are open until 6AM tonight, that means its getting closer to finals and juries- I can’t even imagine working on something on such a time constraint anymore. To think I did it for so many semesters! It’s an entirely new world after graduating college, I’m sure it’s different for everyone but truly for an artist it’s like you’ve been granted a clock with infinite time. No deadlines to make anything, full leisure to work at your own pace. I am currently working on a continuation to my life project, which is actually a mix between senior thesis 1 and senior thesis 2. It’s huge for me as both a human being and am artist.

New York is this magical place that I am still soaking in every single day. Never taking anything for granted and still maintaining the belief that with hard work you can do anything. I’ve met incredible people and had so many amazing experiences thus far. I’m just thankful for it all. Its odd how much less stressed I am too, I don’t dwell for the future as much, maybe because the current state of the government has made me lose some hope in it. I guess I’m just doing what I can day by day and trying to get my feet wet in all the right ponds.

All for now,

The 99%

Brianna — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:39:48 +0000

It’s hard not to think about your place as a citizen of a social class in America now that Occupy Wall Street has taken over the world. Yes I am a part of the 99% I was born into a middle class life, some are lucky to have been born above it, but many have to work their asses off to sustain themselves. While I am generally concerned with all of the above, and take sides with those holding down the fort to change a vast decline- I have to admit that I am more concerned about my place as a 1%.

I was informed as a junior in college that some ridiculous percentage of people graduate from art school and stop making art. A number so high that if compared to lawyers post law school, we would all be defending ourselves. I’m sure there are a plethora of reasons, including being a part of the 99% preventing such dreams. I just have a hard time believing any of that, so I hereby declare that I will be a part of the 1% that continues to create after college.

And if I don’t succeed, the attempt is still worth the risk.

passing cars, passing faces.

Brianna — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 03:10:26 +0000

Over the past 5 years or so I’ve always turned to my car for a stable feeling. A feeling that one would normally achieve when walking into their home. I’ve always felt at home while on the move. A lot of people have been telling me that they don’t understand how I’m currently living the life I’m living- unstable; out of a bag, on foot, in a car, on a train, in a friend’s mothers home, or a past flame’s bed, in a sublet. During this chaotic time I’ve lost reason to drive for the thrill, so I took this past weekend to do that.

While on my trip home, and to New Hampshire, and eventually on my trip back I thought intently about the feeling I get when I’m driving. I thought about how driving in a car by myself has always felt perfect. During the ride to New Hampshire my keys kept dangling against my knee, and I thought about keys. The way they change over time, as we change our homes, or gain access to new ones. I thought about my keychain, and how not one single key on it belongs to a home I can officially call my own, nor the car either since I newly acquired it and plan soon to sell it. I don’t seem to mind at the moment either. I think in the end I’m just lucky to have them, and people to offer them to me.

I normally fear driving in the dark, but given my mindset of driving, and the feeling of movement, I was happy to drive back into a darkness I could call my own. I thought about the cars that past by me, how I couldn’t see their drivers or passengers but I knew they were someone, going somewhere and that’s all that matters. I get that feeling when I walk through New York now, you can see it in the faces you pass. Everyone is in their own movement, traveling to and from places we will never know, it’s a beautiful sight if you really take the time to look at it. I think that is what I like most about New York, that constant sense of sudden urgency to act upon something, because if you don’t you’ll miss it. Whatever the it is, it’s entirely for you, you just have to choose how to take the ride.

Catch me if you can.

Brianna — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:01:46 +0000

Here I am now.

The happiest I’ve been in a long time.

Thriving on the primal survival skills of learning new surroundings and soaking in every facet of being a fresh tiny fish in an endless beautiful sea.

I have no idea of what career path to go on, but it doesn’t matter because every minute of every day I am learning. I am but a bright eyed porous sponge.

Humbled to say the least of my great fortune, and eager to turn this world into my oyster.

Thank You.

Chapter Four

Brianna — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 02:42:14 +0000

It’s finally time to close my Chelsea chapter, a chapter that felt temporal from the start. And like every time before, it is only fitting that I close a chapter by writing a new one, and in case you feel like taking a step back in time:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

If you read the first three chapters and are now thinking, wow great I bet she’s heading to California, nope. I’m heading to the place I vowed myself to never go. I’m leaving Chelsea to go to, well Chelsea- New York that is. It’s time once again to gather my things and be the nomadic being that I’ve grown to become. To find home in the city, on foot, and in my dreams. Maybe I should be more nervous than I am, but I’ve learned a lot since that first Chapter when I was only 20. I think of life like a bunch of whirlpools. You float until one sucks you in (school, groups of friends, a job) and then suddenly you realize one day that it’s time to get out of that hole before it sucks you in, or spits you out. It’s not to say that getting sucked in every now and then is bad, but it’s always important to learn its’ lesson, fight your way back to the top, and move on to bigger whirlpools to swim your way out of. I don’t know if all of my dreams will come true in making this decision to move, I guess you can never know that sort of thing, but certainly there’s no way to find out if you don’t try.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the verb To Be lately. There’s a theory that the verb is derived from the greek god Proteus. Proteus was a god of the sea, a prophet that could tell the future- if you caught him. He had the ability to change into many different forms, his way of avoiding captivity. To Be changes form the most of all verbs in languages. It’s everything really. It’s the first lesson you learn in a foreign language, because without it you can’t really say much, it’s the most basic structure of forming a sentence.

Like Proteus, we shift ourselves constantly throughout life. We our born into our verb: to be from Boston, to be born with the traits of a parent you’ve never actually met. We develop our verb as we grow: to be a good friend, to be an athlete, to be goofy. We dream to shape our verb for the future: to be a student, to be driven, to become an artist.

I’ve learned to understand and believe in our existence, that it is the absolute most important thing. There is nothing higher than the actuality of the self, yet without a description of the self, we lack that very thing- To Be.

And so we go through our timelines as shape shifters. Being, believing, dreaming, becoming.

To Be or Not To Be, That Is The Question.

See The Forest For The Trees

Brianna — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 00:47:52 +0000

This weekend was the first time in about 2 months that i have had time to zone out for a bit, see the forest for the trees if you will. Im currently sitting on a bus, homeward bound to Boston. To my left and right are trees lined for miles, seperating homes from the highways that divide. So many trees but I’ve been trying my best to look at every one. I stood on the roof of a New York city apartment last night discussing how important it is to put yourself as an entity into perspective sometimes. The buildings that tower above us tend to blind our stature, even though were just tiny particles of dust in it, we built it all with our bare hands. And even if it will defeat us in the end, it’s important that we reflect on that notion every now and then. The trees never look the same when they stand alone, they need each other to empower the forest. I guess what Im getting at is that it is an absolute necessity to put the importance of your cycle of life into perspective, to realize that you can do absolutely anything you dream if you decide to conquer. You’ll never do it alone, but the tree in the forest still stands alone. You’ll always be a part of a bigger entity; think of the millions of people you pass in a lifetime, each one trying to live out their own life cycle. It’s important that we remember this in order to succeed in our own.

Brianna — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 18:30:03 +0000

My life with god: Catholic, atheist, agnostic. Or, yes, no, I don’t know. That’s the content of the song boiled to a couple words. It’s a very complicated couple words, and it’s been a very complicated series of events and reflections twisting through a life getting here. ‘Here’ is subject to change. There’s freedom in not knowing, in taking pause, in struggling to be a good person regardless, in letting go of your knotted preconceptions.

- Kevin Devine on “Between the Concrete and the Clouds”

perfection.

Slow Down.

Brianna — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 05:26:15 +0000

Brianna-

Stop trying to rush your future, it will work it’s way out.

Hustle, even if you hate it. Make art, you know how.

Smile, appreciate the people around you.

Stop looking at your phone.

Persevere.

You’ll be okay.